We recently received a mama cat and her three kittens. We've had cats in the past, but they never had kittens. These new arrivals inspired a conversation between myself and my six year old.
"Mommy, why are some cats born not being able to have kittens, but some can?"
"Oh, all girl cats are born able to have kittens, but animal doctors sometimes do something to their body so that they can't have kittens"
A look of surprise bordering on horror came across his face. "Why would they want to do THAT?" And so we had a talk about if they don't find homes or are not cared for properly they become a nuisance and a problem. Then I continued the conversation with this...
"You know, doctors sometimes do that to people too." Even more shock, more horror. You see, even at six years old my little guy knows that children are a blessing and God made our bodies to have babies. However these days people see children as a nuisance and a burden, often because they are not well cared for or well trained. Selfishly we do not want to take the time to give of ourselves to train up our children, to give them the love and attention they need. When these things are not done for children they do become a problem, and a burden. We close our hearts to children either by our own experience or by watching others with their poorly behaved seemingly burdensome children. When we close our hearts to more children not only are we not willing to accept further blessings, but we cause children to wonder if they truly are blessings. Think about it.... If you truly thought something was a blessing wouldn't you desire to continue to be blessed with such a thing?
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This is not written to judge, simply to get one thinking. It does not matter how many children one has or how they come to be in a family. What matters is the heart (love) for children. Remember love is an action, not just a feeling. Love of, and a heart for children IS hard work. It is disipleship, it is training, it is putting others first. As we do this hard work God works in us, it does not always seem so hard. This hard work has eternal implications and rewards; and therefor so worth the doing!
I'm linking to
Raising Homemakers and
Not every woman gets to have as many children as she wants, either. In my ten-year marriage, I've only been pregnant three times and I miscarried that third one. I get so upset when people assume that women with small families 'closed the factory'. Perhaps teaching children that there are various reasons why everybody doesn't have a dozen children would be more fair.
ReplyDeleteChristine,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you were hurt by this post. I titled it "A heart for children" and pointed out at the end that it does not matter how many children a family has or how they come into the family it is opening their hearts to the children God wants to bless them with (in what ever way that is) that matters.
We do teach our children of the many reasons that couples do not have many children, often because God has other plans for that family or for medical reasons etc. These are always taught with love and respect. However this post was hitting on what often happens in todays society, limiting a family size by choice simply because it is the societal norm etc.
Obviously your heart is not closed to children and is hurting, desiring more. Sometimes communicating over the internet is so hard, tone, expresion, and emotions are missing and it can be easy to miss understand ones intent. Please forgive any lack of compassion or judgement that you may have felt in this post. It was not intended.
I was really encouraged by this post. I have 6 children and love each one. Afterall, dh and I were told at one time that we would never be able to have children. Now God has proved the medical docs wrong and continues to bless us. But some days I am so weary. This post helped me to take a pause and think. Thanks for sharing. Stacy (busymomys)
ReplyDelete